10 Tips to Help an Autistic Child Who Misunderstands Instructions

Any parent has experienced moments when a child doesn’t respond to a question or instruction as expected—or at all! In children with autism, misunderstanding instructions is not about defiance but is often a matter of unclear communication.

When an autistic child misinterprets or struggles to process directions, it can lead to frustration and anxiety for them and their parents.

So, how can we make instructions clearer? While every autistic person is different, there are some things you can do to help improve communication and make daily interactions easier.

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1. Keep instructions and questions short and manageable

Less is more! Avoid overwhelming your child with too much language or information to process. Ask yourself what the important message is, and try and keep to the point.

2. Avoid unnecessary words

Consider the words that don’t add any meaning to your message and may cause confusion. Examples of these are ‘filler words’ such as:

• “I mean,”
• “to be fair,”
• “actually,”
• “you know,” 
• “to be honest,” etc.

3. Allow processing time where needed

Remember to pause after asking a question or giving an instruction. As a general rule, give at least 10 seconds of processing time, though more or less may be needed. This depends on your child, how regulated they are, the environment, and how familiar the context is.

It can take time for autistic people to process information. If you don’t get a response straight away, don’t always assume that you haven’t been heard or are being ignored.

4. Begin with the name of the person you’re talking to

Instructions such as “Put your shoes on!” called out as you’re getting ready to leave the house may be ignored by an autistic child. Some autistic children will not realize the instruction is directed at them if their name isn’t included.

A simple adjustment like: “Samira, put your shoes on” can make all the difference

5. Use the same words when you repeat instructions

Don’t feel pressured to fill the silence by repeating a question or instruction too quickly. Your child might be trying to process what has been said and how to respond.

If you do need to repeat the instruction, use the same words unless it is apparent that the child does not understand them.

Introducing a new language means the child may have to go right back to the beginning of reprocessing what has been asked. Because of this, it may take even longer for them to understand and respond.

Only rephrase instructions if there is still confusion, and again, remember to give processing time.

6. Avoid multiple questions or instructions

In everyday speech, we often end up asking a series of questions in one go: “Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? Or do you want to eat later?” For some autistic children, this can be overwhelming, with far too much language to process at the same time. 

They may also just answer the last question and ignore the first ones. This is the same with multiple instructions. Because of that, make sure you always break down lengthy instructions into small, manageable steps.

Try to pause after asking a question or giving an instruction. Before adding more, check if it has been understood.

How much this is needed—and how useful it is—depends on the child and their needs at that moment. Factors that often play a role in this include:

• anxiety or stress levels, 
• the environment, 
• the familiarity of the instructions, 
• the relationship with the person making the request.

7. Prioritize instructions according to importance

Be clear about what is expected, including the time and effort needed to achieve it.

Pay attention to the language you use. Vague expressions like “in a bit,” “for a while,” or “later” can be unhelpful. Autistic children may feel anxious if they don’t know exactly what is expected or when it needs to be done.

Try to use more specific time expressions. Instead of saying, “Put your game away, you can play it later,” say, “Put your game away, you can play after dinner.”

8. Avoid using negatives in your instructions

Give clear instructions on what to do, not what not to do.

Negatives in instructions can be confusing for an autistic child. For example, “Don’t take your phone to school” might be misinterpreted as “Take your phone to school” because take, phone, and school are the most prominent words.

A clearer approach is to state the desired action directly. Instead of saying what not to do, try: “Leave your phone at home.” This makes the instruction more straightforward and easier to follow.

9. Use visual aids to make instructions clearer

Many autistic children find visual information easier to process and retain than purely spoken information. You can add visual support to your instructions by using pictures, symbols, or lists. Consider using digital technology such as smartphones, tablets, and laptops.

10. Use short, direct question forms

We often use indirect language when asking questions. For example: “You haven’t seen my keys, have you?” This can be confusing for some autistic children as it is harder to filter and process what is being asked.

Where possible, try and use a simple direct form for questions such as: “Where are my keys?” 

Please note that this may not always be the best approach for some autistic individuals, particularly when their anxiety levels are already very high.

This can affect their ability to tolerate real and perceived expectations, and they may not be able to cope with direct instructions. Instead, at these times, always give the child space and time to self-regulate.

Soften or make indirect requests. Consider offering choices so that they feel they have some control and autonomy.

Supporting children with autism misunderstanding instructions

The most important thing to remember is that every child is different, including how they communicate and process information. This can also vary depending on the context.  

Language comes naturally to all of us, but small adjustments can make a big difference. By applying these tips, we can become clearer, fairer, and more effective communicators with autistic children and young people.

FAQs

Q: Do autistic people struggle to understand instructions?

A: Some autistic individuals may struggle with understanding instructions, especially if they are vague, indirect, or contain multiple steps. Clear, concise, and structured instructions with visual or written support can often improve comprehension.

Q: What is explicit instruction for autism?

A: Explicit instruction for autism is a teaching approach that provides clear, step-by-step guidance with direct explanations, modeling, and repetition. It helps autistic individuals by breaking down tasks into manageable parts and reinforcing learning through structured support.

Q: How can autism affect studying?

A: Autism can affect studying by influencing attention, organization, and sensory processing, making it harder to focus or retain information in traditional learning environments. Strategies like visual aids, structured routines, and interest-based learning can improve engagement and comprehension.

The post 10 Tips to Help an Autistic Child Who Misunderstands Instructions appeared first on Autism Parenting Magazine.

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