Autistics Struggle Enough Without Cruel Accusations of “Not Disabled”

Content Warning: This essay discusses suicide

This month has been a hard month for disabled people, especially when it comes to watching the news. In the UK, this includes cuts made to PIP, a UK push for disabled people to go into the workplace whilst enabling stricter benefit sanctions for those who don’t go back into work—even if the workplace is harmful.

And then, I came across a tweet by Tom Harwood on X, followed by a clip on TikTok of a London Broadcasting News presenter stating that disabled people are “not disabled.”

Taking to threads, I shared my experience in the workplace to show how unsafe it can be for a disabled person, and within a day it had 531 likes and 71 reposts. Clearly this was a conversation to be had. My story contains mentions of suicide and self harm, as well as bullying, but in sharing it I hope to show the reality of an autistic person’s life.

I entered the workplace from a mainstream school at the age of 16, without any sort of transition. I had never had an EHCP (Education and Health Care Plan) and had received very little support in school, and so didn’t know about differences in behaviour or how you’re meant to talk or interact in the workplace. Within a few months I’d received a disciplinary for not following the rules and for talking about “unsuitable” things. I’d even been called cocky for not responding to something my boss had said, but the truth was I just hadn’t processed it properly and was unable to verbalise a response.

After being formally disciplined—which, as a 16 year old autistic girl, was the most terrifying experience of my life—I began having panic attacks at the thought of even going to work. I could already tell that people thought I was weird. I never said the right thing or reacted the right way, and I didn’t have the knowledge or bravery to be able to advocate for myself at that age.

In my second apprenticeship, I began working in a corporate office. As a rule, if you were on the front desk you couldn’t be seen to be eating or drinking. With the long stretches of going without food and water, I stopped being able to recognise when I was hungry or thirsty. It also helped retrigger my eating disorder as it became the norm for me to not eat at work. I lost a huge amount of weight whilst there, surviving off spoonfuls of peanut butter.

The next job at a health food company was the first time my body rebelled after all the stress. They thought I didn’t want to be there just because I had blank facial expressions and had pulled me into the office for not following the rules of the phone systems, even though I’d never been shown them. I was six stone at the time, and I began to break out in hives and had a huge purple blotch on the side of my face.

In my first full time job (not an apprenticeship), I attempted suicide after a year. I had a team leader who would tell me to leave my disability at the door, and would have me moving heavy files around even though she knew I also had cerebral palsy. It was an open plan office and everyone could hear the vitriol she used to spew at everyone in her team, but nothing was ever said or done. It was as if it was normal behaviour. After my attempt, I was given two weeks off and then I went back, but nothing had changed. I quit soon after.

After moving into the legal sector, I experienced even more discrimination. In my shortest stint, which only lasted four months, I found out a spreadsheet was going round with my name on it multiple times. They were calling me a moody bitch, commenting on my ear defenders and how weird I was. The girls would be nice to my face but then say how strange I was behind my back. How I either gave too much or too little eye contact. They wanted to write “glad you’re leaving” in my card, and one of the managers commented on how I’d probably go home and slit my wrists.

In my last ever job in legal, before I moved sectors, I was pulled into the meeting room without warning and berated for causing “an atmosphere” and making everyone uncomfortable. Again, it was down to my lack of facial expressions and inability to catch on to banter. I had to endure almost an hour of criticism, and then was left hyperventilating on the floor in one of my worst meltdowns ever. I was also teased relentlessly for what or how much I ate, and again I went back to limiting my food intake at work so that no one said anything about it. After the confrontation, I handed my notice in, and they were very eager to get me out of the door.

For ten years I experienced the worst form of hell, and it has left me with scars that will never heal. Everything that has happened is down to abled bodied, neurotypical people not wanting to understand what autism actually entails, and not wanting to create a safe working environment because it doesn’t benefit the abled working class. Because of my experiences, I willingly work a job that pays less, and work fewer hours, because it’s a safer environment that has some understanding on autism. I tiptoe the poverty line every month just so I can be safe.

The new cuts and push for disabled people to go straight to work will cause many experiences like mine, and that terrifies me. In the coming year, will we see an increase in suicide in the autistic community? Will autistic people be forced to mask and hide their disability so that they can keep their job? None of this has been thought about, and no one in the government is considering these struggles.

Although my story is sad to read, I hope it helps others understand what will happen to disabled people in the workplace. Discrimination might be against the law in terms of hiring, but there are other ways to discriminate once a person is in the workplace, and it happens regularly. If this is not understood, and changes aren’t made, disabled people will be pushed into unsafe environments and the effects could be catastrophic.

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• Source: https://thinkingautismguide.com/2025/04/autistics-struggle-enough-without-cruel-accusations-of-not-disabled.html